XxChesca123xX

Missing someone who hasn't gone yet is so strange but I'm feeling it like a cold wind down my back right now.
Hello to all those people who will ignore this, tbh my fucks are gone and I'm floating in a world of tea and different types of cereal; welcome to my life now. Spending £80 on used books for my course is a bloody joke as well, but what can yah do. I'm gaining friends/strengthening the friendships I have with every lecture and seminar yet I'm losing one of my closest since coming to uni. That's weird. That's really weird. I mean he's going to Spain, and it's just surreal, I mean I'm happy for him but I'm also indescribably miserable about it. Missing people who are close to you no matter how much of an idiot they are, is still like a part of yourself is missing. So yeah that's one more person I'm gunna miss in my life, but I'm hoping we can stay in contact, hopefully. 
Other than that got an upper 2nd on my creative writing piece which I'm really mega proud of, but yeah.
I'm a bit emotionally compromised at the minute.
I also know that no one's gunna read this because I have virtually no friends on here except for the ones I know in real life, so it's kinda safe to be sad. I am sad.
But I'm kinda trying to be hopeful about what the future brings because I know that I can make it worth it. I'm looking forwards to discussing ideas with someone about a bookshop-coffeeshop that I really want to build up from scratch, it's my dream. It's what's keeping me floating on the sea of uni instead of drowning. It's the equivalent of a morning cup of tea that tastes just right, that first gorgeous sip that offers something more and makes you wonder if your day might actually...be alright. You know? It's all I want in life, and it's going to be bloody difficult to get to that point but I want it to happen, I need it to happen, and I'm happy at the minute, no I'm content enough at the minute to wait for it to happen one day as long as I work for it. Like anything really. 

I'm not going to feel bad for wanting that life either, I need that dream to stay awake. 

Christmas was a distaster - the worst I've ever had but let's just not go there. 

So I got tagged by my best bruh who is my icon squad also. 

TAG rules: 

1) Write down every letter in your name
2) Write down a song that pops into your head beginning with each letter.
3) Count the number of letters and TAG that many people. (I actually don't have any friends on here anymore so I have no idea who the fricikity frack to tag so I probs won't)

F 

I love this song and it got me through a lot of painful bus journeys going to and from school. It's also an amazing song to write to. 

R 

Ironic title as it coincides with the song above, but anyway, I love this song, I love Taylor Swift and I'm not ashamed of that, fucking misogyny. I wrote a really cute Bilbo and Thorin thing to this song, but it made me cry a bucket of lava. 

A

Um. Do I really need to explain my eternal undying love for Busted and Mcfly? No, I thought not. 

N

This song always makes me feel like crying, and I can kinda put it to my own experience since being in uni, or at least the first stanza, but you know being near and talking with friends helps so much, even if even reading that name as it pops up to ask if you'll read another poem about one of his exes is one of the most painful things ever. But this song helps so much. 

C

This song is beautiful and I love it so so much. This is the song I would want played at my wedding, it's just so heartwarming. 

E

His voice is beautiful and fuels my soul, this song makes me want to lie down on a mountain side and watch the stars twinkle above me. It's both beautiful and heartbreaking. 

S

I feel like screaming this song at one of my uni friends =n= you get to a point where you just stop feeling sorry for people like that, I have reached that stage. But I also just love this song a lot, I've gone through a lot with it - first listened to on a Destiel fanmix. 

C

This is my fave cover of the song, it kinda makes me want to curl up and die for a bit, but I just feel this song in my bones. 

A

First heard this on an advert? Got obsessed with it, and then I found the acoustic very and cried my heart out to it. It's such a beautiful song, and just, it's one of those songs that gives you hope? Y'know what I mean? You can feel those guitar strings in your heart being pulled by skillful fingers and those words being sung in your blood, and it just feels like a hopeful future. 

Thanks if you read this. 

Long time now speak. How yah doing? Good I hope. 

I will literally do anything for more money at the moment.

How's life wherever you are? Treating you well? Uni's tough, lemme tell you, it is pretty much a the place that you can simultaneously breakdown and completely and utterly pick yourself back up again, at the same time. Magical. 
My course is really interesting, in one of my modules we are discussing fairy-tales, and man it is so freaking cool, the whole animalistic natures and the mirror images that one might see are so interesting, the 'male gaze' is pretty cool. We'll be studying the Supernatural soon, and I'm so ready for that topic, ugh god I am just really loving that bit of my course, the other bits, per-say are a little drier, but none the less their interesting in their own right.
I've met some really cool people on my course as well, only a few though, I'm not really an outgoing person enough to have made loads, most of them are guys, funny how it works that way. Still one hundred and ten percent single though, which kinda sucks, I don't want to rush into anything with anyone, but it would just be nice to have someone there who wouldn't be afraid to hold my hand y'know? 
Anywho, hope you're all alright, ciao! 

Yeah, this lucky bugger! 

Seriously happy about this development, it means I have to pack up my stuff though, and that's going to be a pain and a half, also all my posters, which is a shame, they really become a part of you after a while. 
But I'm going to study English and Creative Writing, I mean it's brilliant because it's home to the National Wales Library, so that's a huge plus, also I love libraries. I practically spent my childhood in them, so why wouldn't I? 
I hope that if any of you guys have got your results, that they're okay, I'm sure they are! Good luck though! 

Fran~

So I have a 3DS and Pokemon X and here is my friend code: 2595 - 2131 - 7727
but seriously if you take it too seriously or you're a dick to me...just don't...don't be that bro.